MY LETTER TO YOU

Dear you...

Just like yesterday, we said ‘Happy 2013’ to one another. Now year 2013 is unto the exit and 2014 comes in. For me I’d say I couldn’t achieve more than 10% of my set goals this year like I did about 99% last year, but I got reasons to thank God- especially because you and I are able to witness this moment.

When I came into this year it was just my wife and I, now we have a boy whose energy alone marvels me. I also have a business that has been my livelihood; a dream I dreamt since graduating from high school. For my land, my car, my Talents, & family, I’m grateful to God. To say I’m counting my blessings would be appropriate for this piece. This year I was able to do many things I dropped years ago, learn new skills, and make new friends. But the biggest joys were the friends whose love and encouragement charged me up to do more. I may not be able to share/tag/mention all of you here but am sure you know I appreciate you.

To say I didn’t have my down times would be ‘inhuman’. I’ve had times I got mad at myself, my friends, family, and few fans. Like when I was hit and my car spanned under a moving trailer only to come out with just a scratch. Or when I wanted to do some stuffs but because of family I changed my mind. And when a few times some colleagues/friends/fans mis-understood my actions and I got furious in my disappointment... they should have known me better. :(

Some of you have encouraged me. Some have discouraged me. Yet some others have done things that made me want to do better. Nevertheless, I want to let you all know you are the reason why I’m moving on. Without friends, colleagues, associates, family, fans, etc, I don’t know if you will even hear anything about me today. So for all your support on EGC blog, EGC Media, EGC Properties, Be Blessed, 31 Days of Poetry, Order sms, my write-ups, performances, little films I featured in, The Enigmatic brand, and every detail of my life I want to say ‘Thank you’ to you all... My family, My Mentors, My ETM crew, My Clients, fellow Poets, Critics, CFAAN, and the lists I could not mention here.

Thank you.
Yours in creativity,

Enigmatic Olumide.

ANGRY WORSHIPER

Dear God,

It's me again and I must confess that boys are not smiling.

It's been a month since I last talked to you, and I wonder, you’re not asking of me shows you don't really care about me. If you don't see me can't you at least look for me?

I know you will want to claim the oga at the top; hence I should be the one looking for you. But really I'm tired of seeking your face every now and then without ever seeing your glimpse. You said we should talk to you in prayer, but I have loads of request I made of you that you have refused to answer. Worse still, when I thought you have answered, I realize moments later that you had nothing to do with it. An example was when I went to Katsina state thinking you were leading me not to change my NYSC posting... How come I spent a whole year without having a good job there? Your word says what you give you add no sorrow to it, but why is it that I had a mass of sorrow in that place? Why is it that even when I was made executive in a Christian fellowship I realised most of us do not understand one another and we kept having discord like the set before us?

Now you will say again that we can't question you, but really there are questions in my head that even you can't answer: like why you allowed my elder brother to die even when all my family fasted and prayed for him to live; and why you stand aloof allowing corrupt politicians to eat the wealth of my nation like gluttons even when the church pray against them. Now I think the reason you don't want us to ask you question is because you don't know the answer!

I may not be able to say somethings here, because I don't trust the postmaster. My friends have talked about the earlier letters I wrote to you, that they’ve read them. And I don’t want them to see the things I would have said here. But I'm tired of seeing unfortunate things happening to me. Like the situation in my job, my ministry, and my family; the temptations I face and the struggle to survive. If indeed you are God, let there be answers to my requests like you do to pastor Adeboye, Oyedepo, and other people who follow you. Let my life be so sweet that bitterness will not be found in me.

Thank you for your anticipated reply.

With regards,

Your angry worshipper

LETTER TO THE FUTURE ME

Dear Enigmatic,

I hope you are enjoying your old age? How is your lovely wife, your children and your grand kids? Yeah, I know you are laughing now; the rate at which those kids do everything with technology and intelligence baffles you. In our own days you didn’t even know how to use a computer till you left secondary school, now a nursery school pupil can create software. The world has really changed.

I hope you still discipline your children o? Please don’t mind those governments who insist you must not punish your children when they behave badly, they are the problem of the world today. Find ways to discipline them effectively, because even the Bible says “He who spares his rod hates his son, but he who loves him chastens him early.” (Proverbs 13:24)

I would also advice you to take more time to rest now. Don’t do all those things you used to do, because your age can no longer take them. (I remember when you went on a 7 days non-stop rehearsal in school, during a marathon fast, and you joined the football team immediately afterwards) Please don’t do that now; we want you to last longer before we hear of obituary o! Try getting competent hands to oversee your creative programs, your farms, and your estates. I’m sure your first son will be good for this.

I heard you’ve now become an activist. Keep up the good work brother, I’ve always known you can’t stand down and let the poor people be oppressed. I’m even thinking you will become the president of Nigeria someday. Yeah, I know you don’t like politics, but its people like you that Nigeria needs: men of integrity who are not afraid to sacrifice their comfort for the greater good of all. Now don’t tell me it’s too late to join politics, after all former president (Goodluck Jonathan) never believed he could buy a shoe in his entire life yet he became the president of Nigeria. The only problem with him was that he almost made we all “shoe-less” when he bought his shoes. I’m sure your own case will not be like that.

Finally, keep using your creative skills to lead people to the righteous path. I read your last novel and saw the movie you acted with that Australian actor. I must confess that I’m very impressed with your level of imagination. They say brains diminish at old age, but yours is different, it only gets better… Till we meet at the coming of the Lord, please keep writing.

Your younger self,

Olumide Bisiriyu

LETTER TO MY WEDDING PLANNER

Hi Amanda,

Trust you had a great trip back to Lagos last week.

On behalf of my fiancee and I, I want to say we really appreciate all the energy you are putting into making our wedding a success. I marvel at the way you plan everything as if it's your own wedding. But I have few issues Amanda:

I think we are over-spending and it's giving me serious concern. There is always something to spend on, I know, but please consider my pocket. Now that it seems like I have exhausted all my savings, don't you think we should slow down a bit?

In fact, I must confess I have considered postponing the wedding on few occassions. But for family and well wishers, I would have done it. Nevertheless, I feel they seem to be dreaming of a lavish wedding without donating to the course yet. Now I see why uncle Jide always run away where they discuss weddng: it's not because he couldn't propose to a girl, no, he has a lot of them; truth is the cost of planning a wedding alone is much higher than the cost of feeding the new couple for a year in our African tradition. And most times people spend all they have on wedding alone (just one day) only to stuggle for Survival in the remaining days of the year.

Lastly, I like your idea that we should rent a limousine for the wedding, but please (You have read my ordeal) I don't think I'm strong enough to rob a bank because I want to get married. I know I can't ride okada or keke Napep to the wedding, but even if it's my father's old Mercedez Benz 230 that I can use-so be it.

I pray this letter will serve as a reminder to make neccessary amendment...

Thank you for always being there.

Yours in creativity,

The Enigmatic: Olumide Bisiriyu

LOVE TALES OF A CRAZY BUT SANE GUY

Dear Mummy,

How are you, daddy, and my siblings? I trust you are all doing well.

I am glad to tell you I am coming home for Christmas. Not just that; I am glad to tell you I finally found a wife and I am bringing her home.

I guess you'll remember how much I have waited for this day. Indeed, God makes everything beautiful in its time as the scripture says: I find so much peace in her and I can't wait till the day we get married; I'm already calling her my wife. For 8 years I kept my eyes on her, never knowing she's actually going to be mine, and it was such a coincidence that she agreed to be mine on the 8^th day of December. The big question I've been asking myself is ‘how did I get such a very beautiful wife who is still well behaved?’ Many of her kind would have been among the whores, but she's worth more than rubies. Some others I know let their beauty get into their head, but she's different, pride takes no place in her.

I'm not saying she's 100% perfect though, all I'm saying is I love her so much that I can't see any flaw. And sometimes I wonder if this is a dream or I'm really experiencing this. Special thanks to you and Pastor Solomon for your prayers: who knows I could have married that girl who tried to ‘jazz’ me or the other one who kept lying to me. I wish I had not made the many wrong choices I've made before I met her, yet I thank God for the lessons I learnt.

Do you remember my former girlfriend, Fatimah? She's really giving me a tough time, but for space I would have shared her story. Anyway, I will tell you about her in my next letter. Till I write to you again; bye for now.

Your son,

The Enigmatic

A LETTER TO LOVE!

Dear love,

How are you and everything about you? It has been a long time since we really shared with each other and I hope to hear from you soon.

However, I am wondering about your attitude lately and it gives me concern about your intentions. Is your heart still with me or your heart is far away? Pardon me if I am too blunt, but I’m tired of ladies who get so close to me just because they want to get married. Yeah; I want to get married too, but shouldn’t our relationship be because we love each other and not because we “just want to settle down”?

Your friends say you love me; that is why you lie to me. But I disagree, because if I can’t trust you now, how on earth are my going to trust you when we are married?

You asked me to be myself. And now that I am being myself, you compare me with the other guys you have had. If all is well, how come you are no longer with those guys and now you are with me? The most saddening of all is the way you frown when you now know I am not as rich as you think. If all you want is a husband that will lavish money on you, I am sorry I’m not for you; after all I am still hustling. And I can’t rob a bank just to keep you with me.

It is with a heart full of grieve that I write this to you. Yet I plead forgiveness if I am too harsh with this. In all my wonderings I will never for once neglect your good qualities. You are a beauty to behold and a rare gem among women. And I believe that someday you will understand the reason why I wrote this letter to you.

Yours Sincerely,

*Mr Lover*