It’s obvious to my close friends that the best female friend I ever had was a lady whom we called each other boyfriend/girlfriend for just few weeks. But our friendship extended far more than that (after we stopped the “love me I love you thing”). Though our other friends had an opinion that is contrary to what we believed, we were still so close, even for a while till after a serious distance separated us. To say the fact, I’d say we were close because we eventually told each other the truth and knew we could not get married (our values on that area of life was different) hence we settled for a rare kind of friendship; especially with the way we encouraged, challenged, and supported each other in times that came afterwards.
After seeing a few friends act strange and separate recently I wondered: What is love? Does love mean we must marry that person? Or is it only when I want to marry that I can love/stand by somebody? I can bet you that if indeed you love that person, either you are on the road to alter or not, your friendship with that person will not diminish!
John 15:13 says, “No one has greater love than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends.” To most people these days, it’s more like “If you can’t love me, forget it, I can’t even be your friend-let alone to die for you.” And I think that has a lot to do with many broken homes around us these days. What happened to loving somebody without expecting the person to love us in return? Isn’t that the example Jesus gave with his life?
I have also wondered (Genesis 29) Jacob served Laban for 14 years just because he loved Rachael. How many of us can serve for just 14 months because we love somebody? I have often thought that after Jacob served Laban for 7 years and was given Leah, then he served for another 7 years for Rachael; if Laban had another girl to give Jacob instead of his beloved he would. After all, the Bible referred to him as a dubious man who dealt wrongly with the younger man a lot of times(Genesis 31:7); yet Jacob could have continued to serve because he loved Rachael.
The love of most people these days are like that of little babies throwing tantrum. When told they cannot get something, they either fight you or they dissociate from you. In some other instances, many have always been acting like Samson whose desire in love is a tribe he was not supposed to have looked at in the first place (Judges 14), thereby ending up with the wrong spouse who could cause their doom (I pray God’s mercy for everyone in this category). In any case, and in any way, if somebody cannot remain who they are with you because there is no room for a relationship, the person is not even worth your love in the first place.