Tuesday, April 17, 2012


At first I thought about writing it as a poem
But some folks just don’t get it that way
Later I thought about giving her a call
But damn, she’s been so crazy with me lately
So I decided to just let her be
Hoping that someday she will know how I felt
But how is she gonna know what I felt?
When she couldn’t even grasp when I spoke?
Please, who will help me tell her?
Who will help me tell her why she doesn’t have a husband?

I wish I could call the lady involved: she was a very good friend of mine, but lately we may not be called true friends. To me I see her like a sister. But I wonder what she sees me as.

I was speaking with her lately and suddenly I got the true picture of the source of her problem: “Ha! This must be the reason why she has not settled down in marriage?” I pondered and pondered. Honestly I care about her, but she began to act funny and I was beginning to think I “over-care”; maybe I should just ignore her... But how is she going to know what she is doing wrongly?

Okay, lemme explain: Like I said, I treat her like my sister, not because she is in my younger brother’s age bracket, or because she is one of those friends I’ve known for over seven years, but because I used to share my thought with her and she does same with me (Though I stopped sharing when I realised she stopped sharing a long time ago). In my thinking, I thought her personality may change for either of these two reasons: 1. we were becoming too close and she was disappointed to see me settle for yet another girl after my last relationship went bad. 2. my seeing her like my sister makes me correct and advice her most times when she acts in a wrong manner but she began to see me like I was going beyond my boundary.

But I was becoming worried that she is not yet hooked after 5 years of graduation from school (I’ll tell you the truth, this person is not ugly). Yet I couldn’t speak to her to know the root of her singleness: I don’t even know what happens in her life anymore, but am sure she’s never acted like someone in love (Yes, I know a lady in love when I see one). I’ve never even seen or hear a man visit her in a very long time-yet she says her relationship life is blossoming and the guy lives nearby... If the guy lives nearby, shouldn’t she be visiting if he doesn’t visit? But she stays at home every time she could have visited, even on valentine day!

It was when I was speaking to her about another female friend, when she told me why she and her don't relate well, that I remembered it all! She doesn’t like to be under control! She dislikes being corrected! Yeah, I also remembered the reason she gave for leaving one relationship some time ago, “The guy likes telling me to do things; I want to be free.” She said.

Who will help me tell her that a woman who disdains control, correction, and other things women are supposed to be may never find, let alone, stay in a man’s house as a married woman... It’s now that I remembered how some of her own female friends reported her to me, and how she was greatly encouraged and became close to a friend who lacked virtue like her some time ago.

Ha! Who can find a woman of virtue? For her value is far above rubies.” (Proverbs 31:10)  Who will help me tell her that a woman who cannot be under control may never marry, let alone, stay in a husband’s house?

{Watch out for my latest fiction (The Ghost of Aro) on this blog...}

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